Nearly But No

I nearly got laid 3 weeks ago.  There’s a girl I kinda like (not the one I’m in love with and desperately trying to get over) and I know she likes me too.


Her other half was out of town for a week and she invited me over for dinner one day.  We had a really good time, got really drunk, went out, got more drunk, staggered home and she wanted to fuck.  But she was more drunk than I was.  No hope at keeping eye contact, and she fell off the bed twice.  So after a really long, drawn out and quite agonizing turning her down and putting her to bed I left and staggered home like a slow motion pinball.


I found out later she rang another friend the next night and he didn’t turn her down.  She really didn’t care how drunk she got, she just wanted a fuck.  I did the “right thing” and didn’t get laid for nothing.  But if I had done it, I’d have felt horrible.


I live in a morally bankrupt world where I’m gonna hate myself for doing something  I want as much as I’m gonna hate myself for not doing it.  I can’t win.


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