I’m crawling out of my skin wanting to reply to my ex after our last “conversation” a few days ago. I really want to know how the doggie is, how long she’s got and if she’s in pain etc. but I know I’m just going to get another 50 page essay on how evil I am for falling out of love with someone who tore me down again and again in every downswing for two years. And if I stand up for myself and the choices I made it sends her off the deep end. I can’t fucking win and it’s so frustrating.
I’ve been so depressed the past few weeks it’s unreal. When I’m working I want to be resting and when I’m resting I get really depressed. What I really want is fuck someone’s brains out. To remember that someone somewhere can find me attractive and worthwhile to be around. It’d really help right now.