Frustrated.

I’m crawling out of my skin wanting to reply to my ex after our last “conversation” a few days ago.  I really want to know how the doggie is, how long she’s got and if she’s in pain etc. but I know I’m just going to get another 50 page essay on how evil I am for falling out of love with someone who tore me down again and again in every downswing for two years.  And if I stand up for myself and the choices I made it sends her off the deep end.  I can’t fucking win and it’s so frustrating.

 

I’ve been so depressed the past few weeks it’s unreal.  When I’m working I want to be resting and when I’m resting I get really depressed.  What I really want is fuck someone’s brains out.  To remember that someone somewhere can find me attractive and worthwhile to be around.  It’d really help right now.

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